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Marriage debate
Gay marriage issue challenges church, state
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Links • Old South Church in Boston |
October, 2003
By Tiffany Vail
Future of gay marriage lies in Mass. read a recent headline in USA Today, referring to a pending state Supreme Court case in which seven gay couples who were denied marriage licenses have claimed sex discrimination.
It’s little wonder, then, that the subject has become such a hot topic for conversation in recent months.
The court case, which had not been decided at press time, is seen as precedent setting because if this state sanctions such marriages, out-of-state couples could marry here and then demand that their own states recognize those unions.
In addition to that case, state legislators in recent months have filed both a “defense of marriage” bill that would define marriage as being solely between a man and a woman, and a bill that would allow for civil unions – but not marriage – for same sex couples.
Church leaders have waded into the political fray.
In June, Roman Catholic bishops called on their parishioners to support the “defense of marriage” bill, saying same-gender relationships wreak “irreparable harm” on marriage.
Other religious leaders, including those from the Unitarian, Episcopal and Jewish faiths, responded to the bishops with a press conference in favor of allowing same sex unions. Conference Minister & President Nancy S. Taylor also wrote to legislators speaking out in opposition to the “defense of marriage” bill.
“I will contact Legislators to inform them that the bishops do not speak for me. I assure you that I will also inform them that I do not speak for all UCC people in Massachusetts and that our 100,000 members represent a range of views,” Taylor wrote in her message to churches.
“We don’t have bishops and we don’t have an agreed upon doctrine of human sexuality, but we, too, respond to concerns facing our society from the perspective and convictions of our Christian faith,” she said. “I invite you to study and discuss these difficult and important questions in your families and churches … Informed by your own discernment, convictions, and Christian understanding, I invite you to lobby your legislators and take other actions as the Spirit leads you.”
In the past few months, more than 300 clergy – many from the United Church of Christ – have signed a declaration in support of the freedom of same-gender couples to marry. And a group of pastors in the Worcester area are refusing to sign any marriage licenses until they can do so for homosexual as well as heterosexual couples.
| Q: Is Marriage a sacrament in the United Church of Christ?
A: No. As it says in the preamble of the United Church of Christ Constitution: In accordance with the teaching of our Lord and the practice prevailing among evangelical Christians, it recognizes two sacraments: Baptism and the Lord’s Supper or Holy Communion. Dale Hempen explains that marriage, like ordination or confirmation, is a rite of the church, but not a sacrament. “The sacrament would be something Jesus initiated. A rite, like marriage, is a blessing of the church, but it is not something we do in Christ’s name or in remembrance of Christ.” |
“It’s an important conversation going on in our culture and in our churches and it certainly is sign of God moving among us,” said Calvin Mutti, pastor of the South Church in Andover, UCC, which is involved in an Open and Affirming study process. “For our church, the heart of the question is – what would Jesus do, and where is God leading us.”
Churches across the Massachusetts Conference are in many different places on the issue. Some, like Old South Church in Boston and United Congregational Church in Worcester, have been very public about performing commitment ceremonies for same-sex couples. Others, like Mutti’s church and Trinitarian Congregational Church, UCC in Concord, are discussing the issue as part of an ongoing Open and Affirming discussion. Still others, like the Byfield Parish Church in Georgetown are not considering allowing such ceremonies.
In a practical sense, a change in the law regarding same sex marriages seems unlikely to have much effect on these varied practices.
“There’s a real distinction between what the state requires and what the church requires,” said Associate Conference Minister Dale Hempen, who teaches UCC polity at Andover Newton Theological School.
UCC clergy can perform same-gender commitment ceremonies, and churches can allow them. But they cannot file a civil marriage license for the couple. Hempen pointed out that commitment ceremonies are performed for other reasons as well – such as when a couple has a civil marriage ceremony, but wants it to be blessed by a church later.
Clergy who perform same sex unions say they do not treat them any differently from traditional marriages, except for the license.
“Legalization wouldn’t change how we preside over the services,” said Terry Fitzgerald, senior pastor at the United Congregational Church in Worcester, where there have been commitment ceremonies, including one during worship.
“The vows, the change of rings, the prayers and Scripture readings are all the same. We celebrate when two people have found each other, have found one with whom they can be themselves, whom they can trust and love and support and share their lives. Whenever that happens we celebrate and affirm that and bless it and rejoice in it,” she said.
Fitzgerald said same gender couples that request a commitment ceremony must meet the same requirements for counseling as any other couple.
“It’s not an automatic for any couple,” she said.
But those who support same sex marriages say that the license – and all the legal implications that go with it – makes all the difference.
“It’s a justice issue,” said Jennifer Mills-Knutsen, associate pastor at Old South Church in Boston. “Along with marriage comes more than 1,000 legal rights. I see couples who are struggling to be recognized, to have their relationships to their children be recognized.”
Same-sex couples point out that without recognized marriages, they don’t have rights regarding inheritances, medical decisions, filing income taxes and receiving health and pension benefits.
The state of Vermont has tried to deal with this issue by establishing civil unions which allow gay couples to register with the state to receive those rights at the state level, although they are not recognized at the federal level. A similar bill was filed in the Massachusetts Senate in September.
Many people on both sides of the issue say civil unions are not the solution. Some proponents of same-sex marriages say the unions do not meet the emotional or legal needs of gay couples. Some opponents say the unions go too far.
“It is impossible to distinguish ‘civil unions’ from marriage, since marriage is a civil union … Civil authorities, not church leaders, license people for marriage,” said Bill Boylan, pastor of the Byfield Community Church, UCC, who opposes same-sex marriage.
“One does not need to be a Christian or even religious in order to be married in the sight of God. Therefore any attempt to cloud the issue of what marriage means by calling it a ‘civil union’ is a smoke screen to disguise what is actually being done,” Boylan said.
Boylan does not believe gays and lesbians should be excluded from the church and coming to know Christ. But he also believes that same-sex couples that approach the church for an affirmation of their relationship should be warned that their behavior is wrong.
Others disagree, and the discussion continues.
“Maybe the tensions are a sign that we are trying, like the ordination vow that says: we’re zealous in maintaining the truth of the Gospel, and the peace of the church,” Mutti said. “I think that’s what we’re doing. It’s a time for us to grow.”